It's The Pants
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: This is for Roxanne. This is so for Roxanne. Penny and Leonard. And THE pants. You'll understand when you read it. Shippy if you choose to make it that way. And I hope this is better than it sounds.  It's a total inside joke-but I explain at the end. :


**Could this fic BE any more dedicated? This is for Roxanne. I did it to fill a prompt she gave at BigBang_Land at Livejournal, but I feel like I should be left with Leonard for a session of self criticism and repentence for not writing it already for her! But here it is. Roxanne, I hope you like this. Because it is _so_ for you!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything. **

"Did you remember to ask that the chicken with rice to be diced, not shredded?"

Leonard already had the box in his hand, knowing he'd be asked. "Yes."

"Even though the menu description specifies shredded?"

"Yes."

"Did you stop at the Korean Deli to get the good hot mustard?"

"Yes."

"Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?"

Leonard pulled the last of the items out of the bag. "Yes."

It was the same old routine. He'd even managed to put the items in the bag in the reverse order that he'd needed them – after many mistakes – and finally Sheldon responded, for one of the first times ever, with "thank you," and not "what took you so long?" It was very nice to be on Sheldon's good side for once.

"Good thing you're wearing those red pants," Howard said, pointing with his fork. "Second only to black for hiding stains."

"Yes, because he frequently wears khaki," Raj said sarcastically.

"Speaking of red pants," Howard said, "where's Penny?"

"How is that speaking of red pants?" Leonard asked, finishing his sentence mere microseconds before he purposefully stuffed his mouth with food.

"Howard is clearly referencing her habits of spilling food on herself," Sheldon said. "Or to the fact that Penny owns a pair of red pants quite similar to yours. She wore them, for example, the night that Wolowtiz was mocking my brain for being too advanced for his magic trick."

Howard sighed. "Thank you, Sheldon."

The theorhetical physicist smiled broadly. "You're welcome, Howard. I try."

"Anyway," Howard said, looking at Leonard. "I was talking about the second thing. Penny's got pants like that." Leonard cocked his head. "Come on, Leonard. Like you haven't noticed that. You notice everything about Penny."

"Not her clothes," Leonard protested. "I'm a dude!"

Raj laughed. "Howard's not a dude."

"You pointed it out to me!" Howard protested.

Raj fell silent. Leonard smirked.

* * *

><p>Penny entered the apartment building and greeted Sheldon as she approached him at the mailbox. "Hey Sheldon, get your nerd magazine?"<p>

He turned and gave her a polite smile. "Good afternoon, Penny. I'm in a particularly good mood today, so I won't strain your simple mind with an explanation of what this magazine really is. So I'm about to choose another topic of conversation, if that's okay with you."

Penny reached for her mail. "Well, if we're going up the stairs together anyway…" she moved toward the aforementioned stairs, Sheldon a pace behind her. "Lay it on me."

"All right." Sheldon cleared his throat. "I see you're wearing 'the pants'."

Penny cocked her head, giving a little laugh. "The pants? Like 'the moon'?"

"Both very uncreatively named, I agree," Sheldon said, "but I am referring to the pair of pants you are currently wearing being nearly identical to a pair that Leonard also owns." Penny laughed again. "I cannot compare them to Leonard's very closely, as you two have never worn them at the same time. I do have an eidetic memory, but I only pay attention to important details."

Penny turned pink. "Sheldon," she stammered, "I do not have a similar pair of pants as Leonard. That's silly."

Sheldon stopped on the stairs. "I am never silly."

He looked so close to a breakdown that Penny felt the need to apologize. "I know! I know, okay? It's just my…simple mind's way of explaining it."

Upon reaching the fourth floor, Penny and Sheldon met Howard exiting apartment 4A. "I was just coming to look for you two," he said. "It's Halo night, and Raj is sick."

Penny grinned. "I'm in!"

"Great, great!" Howard said, clapping his hands together once. "Hey, Penny, you're wearing the pants!"

"What is with everyone?" She said. "These are not Leonard's pants!" Her irritability was not helped by Howard's gaze. "Howard, stop looking at my ass!"

His eyes shifted. "I'm not looking at you. I'm looking at the pants. They really _are _similar."

"To _what_?" Penny said. "The ones Leonard was wearing like three days ago?"

"Yes," Howard said as if it was obvious. "They're nearly identical."

"I don't see it," she said, shrugging. "And my eyes are up here, _Mister _Wolowitz."

* * *

><p>They always did this in the morning, while Sheldon was in the bathroom. It was the only time it was safe – Raj and Howard weren't around and Sheldon would never change his bathroom time. As Penny had once said, he was a creature of habit. Easy to anticipate.<p>

This time, it had been Penny who had visited the laundry room late at night, after Raj and Howard had gone home and Sheldon was asleep. And it was Leonard who crept across the hall as soon as he'd gotten a response to his text confirming that Sheldon was in fact in the bathroom.

He knocked on the door, and Penny opened it. "Hey," she said.

"Hey," Leonard said.

"Are you getting the impression that they're onto us?" She whispered.

"They're starting to notice," Leonard confirmed. "But they're never going to figure this out. Trust me."

"Okay." She reached over to the table by the door and handed him the pants, clean and folded. "Your turn to wear them."

"You almost missed the six day turnaround," Leonard said, jokingly.

"I still made it." She pushed the pants against his chest and let go, forcing him to take them. "I'll see you in six days for them back."

He nodded, smiling. "Pizza night later?"

"Absolutely."

Penny closed her apartment door, and Leonard, pants in hand headed back across the hall.

**Okay, here's a mini explanation. Since S2 my sister has claimed that Leonard and Penny share a pair of pants. They have similar looking red pants (seen worn first by Penny and then Leonard in The Prestidigitation Approximation) and as we have never seen them wear them at the same time, her, me, Roxanne, and several other people at Fanforum and other places now have added it to our personal canon that it is in fact the same pair of pants. So this fic is largely for their amusement. :D**


End file.
